So it's been a long time since I've written. Nothing too exciting has happened, however I did go on a really cool trip called Big Break in PCB, Fl. Not only was sharing my faith challenging, I also learned a lot about myself. God really stretched me during that one week and I am still learning new things being back on campus.
One thing is that God never promised us an easy, simple life. A lot of times I like to bargain with God, and make him see my point of view and what I think He should promise me. However, He doesn't work that way. He promised that He would love me, and for some reason that doesn't seem like enough for me. I want to know what else He has in store for me and my family and my life.
Other than that, I also realize that I feel entitled to things. I feel that God should give me a job, a place to live, easy financial situations, a husband, little to no stress, etc. I know that He doesn't operate in that way but I still hold on to those things. He will give me good things, but sometimes, He challenges me too (and I really don't like those times). The biggest thing I've learned is that I need to be patient and wait on Him, and in the mean time do what He's called me to do in life.
That's it G.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Beauty Treatments: A thing of the past?
I have been reading Esther in the Old Testament with my girls community group and I have learned that a lot has not changed since it was written. In Esther 2, the women who are to see King Xeres must go through a year worth of beauty treatments. Interestingly, they also state that these women were beautiful to begin with. Here's how I felt (and Beth Moore felt): "So, you're telling me that I'll never be beautiful enough- I'll always need more".
Beth Moore also conducted a questionnaire with various women from the U.S. She asked them, "What's the hardest thing about being a woman?" Several women said this (or something to this effect): "Being too much and not enough at the same time". Man! I feel the same way constantly. I don't want to be either of those things but it seems I am both.
The one thing I like about Esther was that when offered "extra" treatments before seeing the king, she denied them. She knew she was enough.
I feel like I like to shop and buy things that will make me "more beautiful"...as if I wasn't already. I feel like the clothes make the woman, not that the woman makes the clothes. I do think that buying things that flatter your figure or fit you is something that is important- just as important as modesty. However, I don't want my beauty to be defined by what I wear.
As Gretchen Wilson put it in Redneck Woman (Preface- don't take this out of context):
"Victoria's Secret
Well their stuff's real nice
Oh but I can buy the same damn thing on a Wal Mart shelf half price
And still look sexy"
It's not the clothes that make the woman, it's your inner beauty and own natural beauty that makes the clothes look nice. Esther was enough, and God created me to be enough too.
Beth Moore also conducted a questionnaire with various women from the U.S. She asked them, "What's the hardest thing about being a woman?" Several women said this (or something to this effect): "Being too much and not enough at the same time". Man! I feel the same way constantly. I don't want to be either of those things but it seems I am both.
The one thing I like about Esther was that when offered "extra" treatments before seeing the king, she denied them. She knew she was enough.
I feel like I like to shop and buy things that will make me "more beautiful"...as if I wasn't already. I feel like the clothes make the woman, not that the woman makes the clothes. I do think that buying things that flatter your figure or fit you is something that is important- just as important as modesty. However, I don't want my beauty to be defined by what I wear.
As Gretchen Wilson put it in Redneck Woman (Preface- don't take this out of context):
"Victoria's Secret
Well their stuff's real nice
Oh but I can buy the same damn thing on a Wal Mart shelf half price
And still look sexy"
It's not the clothes that make the woman, it's your inner beauty and own natural beauty that makes the clothes look nice. Esther was enough, and God created me to be enough too.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
The Old Testament and Fashion?
Last week I started a bible study on Esther with some lovely ladies in my community group here at UM. The study is by Beth Moore. Interestingly, the study is called "Esther: It's tough being a woman". Without going through an entire week of information, I'll summarize it. (Also- check out Esther 1)
In Esther 1, King Xeres (ZURX-EZ) throws this crazy wild party. Like the biggest bash ever (way bigger than the inaugural ball of our time). It started with 180 days of showing off his awesome stuff, and then a 7 day nonstop party in his gardens. Cool fact: our word paradise comes from the same word they used for their gardens: paradeisoi. So just imagine- the most beautiful place in the world. I think of Versailles in France, or if you visited Miami, Vizcaya. To stay awake (and appear amusing) Xeres and the gang obviously drank a ton. The main reason that he held this party (besides the obvious self-love) was to get the men of the area to agree to go to war. What's the best way to convince men to go to war? Show off your beautiful naked wife!
Meanwhile, Queen Vashti was throwing her own "ladies-only" party (mainly because women we're oppressed- don't think they decided to do this on their own) a little bit far away. King Xeres sends his 7 men (7 dwarfs) to "fetch her" and bring her to his party completely naked. Queen Vashti said "NO" (more like HECK NO!). The King was obviously shocked by her answer and created a decree (while intoxicated don't forget) that Queen Vashti was never allowed to be in his presence, and more importantly, he sent a message to all the people of his land that women are to respect their husbands and every man should be the ruler over his own household.
Just reading that- our culture doesn't seem that much different from theirs. Not only do we love showing off all of our possessions, we also love showing off our women and strength. We never want those things to be jeopardized.
Finally, check out Psalm 49: 6-20:
6 those who trust in their wealth
and boast of their great riches?
7 No man can redeem the life of another
or give to God a ransom for him-
8 the ransom for a life is costly,
no payment is ever enough-
9 that he should live on forever
and not see decay.
10 For all can see that wise men die;
the foolish and the senseless alike perish
and leave their wealth to others.
11 Their tombs will remain their houses [a] forever,
their dwellings for endless generations,
though they had [b] named lands after themselves.
12 But man, despite his riches, does not endure;
he is [c] like the beasts that perish.
13 This is the fate of those who trust in themselves,
and of their followers, who approve their sayings.
Selah
14 Like sheep they are destined for the grave, [d]
and death will feed on them.
The upright will rule over them in the morning;
their forms will decay in the grave, [e]
far from their princely mansions.
15 But God will redeem my life [f] from the grave;
he will surely take me to himself.
Selah
16 Do not be overawed when a man grows rich,
when the splendor of his house increases;
17 for he will take nothing with him when he dies,
his splendor will not descend with him.
18 Though while he lived he counted himself blessed—
and men praise you when you prosper-
19 he will join the generation of his fathers,
who will never see the light of life .
20 A man who has riches without understanding
is like the beasts that perish.
I really like verses 13, 18, and 20. I need to constantly remind myself that my wealth is from the Lord and not on my own.
I'll end with a quote from Beth Moore, " I can tell you something that will never be a waste of time: ascribing to God His measureless worth" Check out Psalm 96: 4-6 too.
Peace.
In Esther 1, King Xeres (ZURX-EZ) throws this crazy wild party. Like the biggest bash ever (way bigger than the inaugural ball of our time). It started with 180 days of showing off his awesome stuff, and then a 7 day nonstop party in his gardens. Cool fact: our word paradise comes from the same word they used for their gardens: paradeisoi. So just imagine- the most beautiful place in the world. I think of Versailles in France, or if you visited Miami, Vizcaya. To stay awake (and appear amusing) Xeres and the gang obviously drank a ton. The main reason that he held this party (besides the obvious self-love) was to get the men of the area to agree to go to war. What's the best way to convince men to go to war? Show off your beautiful naked wife!
Meanwhile, Queen Vashti was throwing her own "ladies-only" party (mainly because women we're oppressed- don't think they decided to do this on their own) a little bit far away. King Xeres sends his 7 men (7 dwarfs) to "fetch her" and bring her to his party completely naked. Queen Vashti said "NO" (more like HECK NO!). The King was obviously shocked by her answer and created a decree (while intoxicated don't forget) that Queen Vashti was never allowed to be in his presence, and more importantly, he sent a message to all the people of his land that women are to respect their husbands and every man should be the ruler over his own household.
Just reading that- our culture doesn't seem that much different from theirs. Not only do we love showing off all of our possessions, we also love showing off our women and strength. We never want those things to be jeopardized.
Finally, check out Psalm 49: 6-20:
6 those who trust in their wealth
and boast of their great riches?
7 No man can redeem the life of another
or give to God a ransom for him-
8 the ransom for a life is costly,
no payment is ever enough-
9 that he should live on forever
and not see decay.
10 For all can see that wise men die;
the foolish and the senseless alike perish
and leave their wealth to others.
11 Their tombs will remain their houses [a] forever,
their dwellings for endless generations,
though they had [b] named lands after themselves.
12 But man, despite his riches, does not endure;
he is [c] like the beasts that perish.
13 This is the fate of those who trust in themselves,
and of their followers, who approve their sayings.
Selah
14 Like sheep they are destined for the grave, [d]
and death will feed on them.
The upright will rule over them in the morning;
their forms will decay in the grave, [e]
far from their princely mansions.
15 But God will redeem my life [f] from the grave;
he will surely take me to himself.
Selah
16 Do not be overawed when a man grows rich,
when the splendor of his house increases;
17 for he will take nothing with him when he dies,
his splendor will not descend with him.
18 Though while he lived he counted himself blessed—
and men praise you when you prosper-
19 he will join the generation of his fathers,
who will never see the light of life .
20 A man who has riches without understanding
is like the beasts that perish.
I really like verses 13, 18, and 20. I need to constantly remind myself that my wealth is from the Lord and not on my own.
I'll end with a quote from Beth Moore, " I can tell you something that will never be a waste of time: ascribing to God His measureless worth" Check out Psalm 96: 4-6 too.
Peace.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Back in Miami
Walking around campus and in Miami has been interesting this past week. Just looking at what people are wearing and have has been an experience in itself.
Last night, I was on a retreat for Sugarcanes (UM's bat girls for the baseball team) in the middle of nowhere (aka Everglades area). After getting lost, we finally found a pizza place for dinner. My mind began to wonder in between eating and chatting with the girls. Mind you, a good majority of the people down here on campus are very well off. Honestly, I have never heard of a lot of the "really nice" brands that people wear down here, but apparently they are popular and in style. I was looking at what the waitresses were wearing and then looking back to what we were wearing. I don't think it's not that they don't care what they are wearing, but what they were doing. Many of the women were wearing "work wear" or things that would be sold at Wal-mart or K-mart or something. I started thinking about how even if they could afford to change what the wear, they probably wouldn't because it's probably not that important to them to fit into some type of culture or style. They are probably more concerned for their families and paying bills. So why is it so important to me? It makes me feel pretty selfish.
That's about it for this week.
I'm out.
Last night, I was on a retreat for Sugarcanes (UM's bat girls for the baseball team) in the middle of nowhere (aka Everglades area). After getting lost, we finally found a pizza place for dinner. My mind began to wonder in between eating and chatting with the girls. Mind you, a good majority of the people down here on campus are very well off. Honestly, I have never heard of a lot of the "really nice" brands that people wear down here, but apparently they are popular and in style. I was looking at what the waitresses were wearing and then looking back to what we were wearing. I don't think it's not that they don't care what they are wearing, but what they were doing. Many of the women were wearing "work wear" or things that would be sold at Wal-mart or K-mart or something. I started thinking about how even if they could afford to change what the wear, they probably wouldn't because it's probably not that important to them to fit into some type of culture or style. They are probably more concerned for their families and paying bills. So why is it so important to me? It makes me feel pretty selfish.
That's about it for this week.
I'm out.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Inspiring and confusing...
So since my last post, I've started reading "Just Do Something" by Kevin DeYoung which is a book on following God's will (without dreams, fleeces, open doors, random bible verses, casting lots, writings in the sky.. etc). While reading it, I came across 1 John 2:15-17 which was mentioned in the 2nd chapter on the different types of God's will mentioned in the bible. It reads:
" 15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16For all that is in the world— the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. 17And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever." ESV
This verse really spoke to me (and no, I'm not claiming the book on God's will was "speaking" to me about my issue). I liked what it had to say and it is very true. You can't love both the world and God. So I was thinking..."Hm... I REALLY love the desires of my flesh and eyes and I do have pride in what I own....so does that mean I don't love God?" That question has haunted me the last couple of days.
Then I was thinking about how I say "I love _______" to everything I like (sometimes things I like a LOT). I love lizards came to mind. I always say I love all the little lizards in Miami. I also love cute small things (like mini animals, dolls, you know, the girly stuff). What the heck? Do I really love these things? Or do I just like them a lot? And for that matter...why do I use the same word for God as I do a lizard or something material?
Wishing I could figure this conundrum out,
Melissa
" 15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16For all that is in the world— the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. 17And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever." ESV
This verse really spoke to me (and no, I'm not claiming the book on God's will was "speaking" to me about my issue). I liked what it had to say and it is very true. You can't love both the world and God. So I was thinking..."Hm... I REALLY love the desires of my flesh and eyes and I do have pride in what I own....so does that mean I don't love God?" That question has haunted me the last couple of days.
Then I was thinking about how I say "I love _______" to everything I like (sometimes things I like a LOT). I love lizards came to mind. I always say I love all the little lizards in Miami. I also love cute small things (like mini animals, dolls, you know, the girly stuff). What the heck? Do I really love these things? Or do I just like them a lot? And for that matter...why do I use the same word for God as I do a lizard or something material?
Wishing I could figure this conundrum out,
Melissa
Friday, January 8, 2010
Bored... with television
Day 1.5 has been fine. However, it has been boring not looking at random crap online. I did not block anything though because I really want to see if I can resist it. Plus, I don't know how to block particular websites. Or maybe, I don't do it because secretly I want to have them there just in case... or... Okay now I am putting too much thought in to it.
The day has been very uneventful so I found myself watching random THS specials on E!. For those who don't know what E! has to offer... this means I spent most of my day watching beautiful celebrities and lots and lots of ads for commercials. Wasn't that tempting, just made me realize how many ads I view per day (or a non-average-bored-on-Christmas-break-day). It seems we spend a lot of time viewing/hearing ads for clothes, perfumes (very disgusting noises for those commercials), and infomercials (especially Proactive and Shamwow!). The one reason I like Disney Channel is because they don't have commercials for anything besides their other shows. I guess that's so because Disney can own everything. Even the commercials.
(Stole this from Corey but..) 1 Tim 6:8 states "But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that." I read this on his page like a week ago and it fell right in line with how I was feeling about everything; everything being shopping and things like that. I know of a couple of bible verses about spending money and things like that. Does anyone have any good stories of God showing you how to deal with your money or have any good bible verses about money or being provided for? I'd love to hear them.
Ready to be in sunny Florida,
Melissa
The day has been very uneventful so I found myself watching random THS specials on E!. For those who don't know what E! has to offer... this means I spent most of my day watching beautiful celebrities and lots and lots of ads for commercials. Wasn't that tempting, just made me realize how many ads I view per day (or a non-average-bored-on-Christmas-break-day). It seems we spend a lot of time viewing/hearing ads for clothes, perfumes (very disgusting noises for those commercials), and infomercials (especially Proactive and Shamwow!). The one reason I like Disney Channel is because they don't have commercials for anything besides their other shows. I guess that's so because Disney can own everything. Even the commercials.
(Stole this from Corey but..) 1 Tim 6:8 states "But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that." I read this on his page like a week ago and it fell right in line with how I was feeling about everything; everything being shopping and things like that. I know of a couple of bible verses about spending money and things like that. Does anyone have any good stories of God showing you how to deal with your money or have any good bible verses about money or being provided for? I'd love to hear them.
Ready to be in sunny Florida,
Melissa
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
So I have decided to set up a blog for a year about not shopping. Not only do I feel pressures from television, movies and advertising that I need to buy constantly, I feel it in my heart. I have had a shopping "problem" for as long as I can remember. Not particularly the act of shopping, but the desire to. I will spend a long time looking for deals online, comparing prices, and just lusting after things I don't need. I never considered this a problem (besides the lack of $$ in my bank account) until I started walking with God. Even still, I denied it for about the first year. Since then, I have been asking God and myself why I shop. Here's what I came up with:
1. I do it to fit into my subculture (and be an American..)
2. I do it to have something to do
3. I do it because it makes me feel good (this was brought to light by many sources, but lately Don Miller's Blue Like Jazz)
4. I shop because it makes me feel cool and important (I get to tell people about what I bought..)
This past summer I tried to change my buying habits to giving habits. However, I am not fully committed to a church where I can tithe and give regularly so that fell through fairly quickly. I do give each month to an organization called Compassion, but mainly it hasn't helped the problem. Dc Talk's lyric from In the Light state, "Every attempt on my behalf has failed to bring this sickness under control" and that is precisely what I have been doing. I have been trying to set my own limits to this problem rather than looking at it as a heart-problem (sin). I give only to stop shopping, not because my heart is screaming out for the poor. I need God's help rather than trying to help myself. I have a hard time understanding that the money I earn isn't mine, that it belongs to God, and therefore I use it frivolously.
After praying about it and thinking about it I have decided to give up shopping for a year. This includes not only clothes, but things like candles and other crap I don't need. Not only will this be extremely difficult for me to do, it will be hard for me to decipher between want and need. That is why I have eliminated that option by not buying anything. I can by food and that will be it. My only buying will be gifts, and I will probably continue with making gifts (as I usually do).
What I plan to do:
1. Pray.
2. I am setting up a blog to write about this, not just my life (and because hey, I've never had a blog).
3. Write down every time I either say I want something or think I want something (this will be interesting).
I will be writing about what I am learning throughout this process and January 7, 2010 is my very first day. Mainly because I like the number 7, and the 23rd is too far away.
Melissa
1. I do it to fit into my subculture (and be an American..)
2. I do it to have something to do
3. I do it because it makes me feel good (this was brought to light by many sources, but lately Don Miller's Blue Like Jazz)
4. I shop because it makes me feel cool and important (I get to tell people about what I bought..)
This past summer I tried to change my buying habits to giving habits. However, I am not fully committed to a church where I can tithe and give regularly so that fell through fairly quickly. I do give each month to an organization called Compassion, but mainly it hasn't helped the problem. Dc Talk's lyric from In the Light state, "Every attempt on my behalf has failed to bring this sickness under control" and that is precisely what I have been doing. I have been trying to set my own limits to this problem rather than looking at it as a heart-problem (sin). I give only to stop shopping, not because my heart is screaming out for the poor. I need God's help rather than trying to help myself. I have a hard time understanding that the money I earn isn't mine, that it belongs to God, and therefore I use it frivolously.
After praying about it and thinking about it I have decided to give up shopping for a year. This includes not only clothes, but things like candles and other crap I don't need. Not only will this be extremely difficult for me to do, it will be hard for me to decipher between want and need. That is why I have eliminated that option by not buying anything. I can by food and that will be it. My only buying will be gifts, and I will probably continue with making gifts (as I usually do).
What I plan to do:
1. Pray.
2. I am setting up a blog to write about this, not just my life (and because hey, I've never had a blog).
3. Write down every time I either say I want something or think I want something (this will be interesting).
I will be writing about what I am learning throughout this process and January 7, 2010 is my very first day. Mainly because I like the number 7, and the 23rd is too far away.
Melissa
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